BE VERY WARY OF WHEELCHAIRS.

OH, SO BEING PARAPLEGIC ISN'T QUITE ENOUGH?

YOU TWO COME IN HERE. CHECK THIS GUY OUT.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT IT IS, DONNA, BUT IT STINKS.

- SEE? SHE HASN'T GOT A TELLY.
- SHE HAS! YOU CAN HEAR IT!

I'M LOOKING FOR ROYSTON VASEY,
BUT I CAN'T FIND IT.

WHO IS IT? WHAT'S GOING ON?

BEFORE HIS PLAIN FLEMISH WIFE...

EVERYBODY, THIS IS MATTHEW PARKER.

BY SELLING THIS TO REAL PEOPLE.

(SHE WEEPS)

DO YOU WANT A PHYSICAL RELATIONSHIP?
WE HAVE TO ASK.

I SEE. CARRY ON.

MUMMY! MUMMY!

I'M SO SORRY, HILARY.
I DIDN'T REALISE TILL IT WAS TOO LATE.

- HAVE YOU PHONED THE POLICE?
- NEARLY THERE.

RIGHTO, MR BEST.

IF YOU'D LIKE TO FOLLOW ME
UP THE STAIRS, MATTHEW.

MADAM! WHAT ARE YOU DOING TREATING
THIS POOR BOY IN SUCH A FASHION?

(LAUGHS) GO ON, MY SON!

THERE IS SOMETHING I WANTED TO SAY TO YOU.

I'M WRITING A CARD FOR THE SHOP WINDOW.

IS CALLED NO HOME FOR JOHNNY,

OR YOU'RE A SECRET SMOKER, YOU TAKE
OFF FOR A FAG BEHIND THE BIKE SHED.